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ROADKILL - article by local Ipswich paper "Evening Star"  


Dying to drive 

06 November 2006 | 15:53


A 'victim' is cut out of a car during the RoadKill demonstration
SHOCK tactics are being employed in Suffolk in a bid to prevent deaths and serious injuries on the road.

Teenagers are being shown graphic pictures of people killed on the county's roads to make them think twice about breaking the law. Crime reporter KATE GOODING went along to see if it works.

TOMMY Sawyer addresses the group of teenagers with an angry tone.

“I am ****** off,” he announces.

“We keep going to car accidents and cutting people out your age.

“Over Christmas last year we had eight fatalities in five weeks. “Do you think I go home at night and it doesn't worry me if I have cut someone out of a car or do you think I can tell you about every death I have been to?”

Last year in Suffolk 343 people were killed or seriously injured on Suffolk's roads - many of them were young people who failed to wear seatbelts, drove at excess speed or drove without due care and attention.

One in three crashes involve men under the age of 20, and 17-year-old men are seven times more likely to have a crash than other groups.

A new and brutal one-day course called RoadKill aims to turn 'bad lads' good, and prevent the number of deaths on the county's roads. Hosted by Suffolk Fire and Rescue Service, it shows teenagers the stark reality of road traffic collisions - in graphic and appalling detail. Shock tactics coupled with education try to change the attitudes of youngsters.

RoadKill focuses on youngsters who have committed motoring offences or are at a high risk of committing such offences. The teenagers begin the day with mixed attitudes - most agree that drink driving is wrong but many admit they don't wear seatbelts and believe that their driving ability is equal to or better than someone who has passed their test.

The firefighters work with Suffolk police, Suffolk Accident and Rescue Service (SARS), Ipswich Borough Council, Suffolk County Council, Suffolk Youth Offending Service and road crash charity RoadPeace, to change minds in their efforts to save lives.

Over six hours, the teenagers learn the law, and the facts about road crashes. This is combined with a focus on the human tragedy and suffering caused by such collisions.

The idea for the course began in Surrey, after a firefighter there called Rob Green, was involved in a collision with joyriders, which resulted in him losing both of his legs below the knee and suffering burns to his face and body.

His wife, who was a pillion rider, was killed.

His colleague Trevor Hill brought the course with him when he transferred to Suffolk, and it has been welcomed by other agencies across the county as well as his colleagues.

Most of the work by fire crews in the county is now at the scene of road crashes, and according to sub officer Marty Royal, crews seldom go a tour (two day shifts and two nights) without attending a road crash.

Over the last few years they have seen rising numbers of collisions in the county, and faced the harrowing task of cutting casualties and sometimes bodies from wreckage. The course includes a demonstration of this work, with two of the youths cut from the vehicle to show how frightening an experience it can be.

The work does not end there though, fire crews work at the scene with police and medics and each bring their own expertise and personal experiences to the RoadKill course.

They include former Suffolk Accident Rescue Service doctor Andy Mason, a specialist in trauma whose contribution to RoadKill is to show the youngsters a catalogue of graphic images of injuries sustained in collisions in Suffolk.

These include photographs of bodies embedded in wreckage, and on the operating table - enough to spark tears in some adult onlookers.

Dr Mason agrees they are disturbing, but says to the group: “Hopefully you will now make some better decisions than may be you have done before.”

He explains the cause of many of the injuries comes down to driving at excess speed, not wearing a seat belt, not having an airbag - and delivers his presentation without emotion as the 14 to 17-year-olds look on.

It may seem like a drastic approach, but Dr Mason explains there were 113 deaths of teenage drivers nationwide in 2000 and 151 in 2004.

Paul Grant of Suffolk youth offending service said the shock tactics do have an effect on the youngsters.

He said: “This group found it really interesting and it made them think about putting their seatbelts on and they said the programme works to make them slow down.

“There was shock but it makes them think when they are behind the wheel of a car that they could get seriously hurt. Before, when they were in a car, they thought they were immortal and couldn't get hurt but I think this shocks them with reality.

“In the morning they were saying 'I'm not going to wear a seatbelt' and this and that and after the afternoon, with the doctor's pictures, it put it into context and brought home what could really happen.

“The pictures are all of real people and cars that have been taken to pieces.

“If it stops one from going out and nicking cars and killing someone we have done a service.”

Mr Grant said one of the most effective sessions of the day came from RoadPeace, a charity dedicated to supporting road traffic victims and reducing danger on the roads.

Suffolk Fire and Rescue Service dedicate the course to Sibel Royer who was born on April 25, 2000 and died on July 9, 2004, and Adam Wall, who was born on June 22, 1978 and died on November 4, 2002.

Anglia Special Edition on ITV1 at 7.30pm tomorrow reports on the number of young people who die on our region's roads, and asks what can be done to reduce the figure.

Funda Royer and Bridget Wall spoke to the youngsters, about the impact losing their children in road crashes had had on their lives.

The speeches were not easy for either of the women but both feel they need to do something positive in memory of their loved ones.

Mrs Royer's four-year-old daughter Sibel was killed by a speeding driver in Barkingside, Essex two years ago.

She said: “The way that I deal with it (Sibel's death) on a daily basis, in order to be able to cope, I store it at the back of my mind and even now, sometimes I can't bear to go there.

“It is still so raw so it is really difficult to do this but afterwards I feel a sense of achievement.

“We can't make sense of what's happened but every time you talk about them and their life, you are keeping their memory alive. You are always living with this senseless loss.

“Speaking to people like this, who could potentially be responsible for a child's death, you are helping to prevent someone else from suffering.

“I can't allow Sibel's death to be in vain and I don't want her name to be forgotten or her memory to be forgotten. I feel her life was taken too soon but if I can help stop another child being taken from a family her death hasn't been in vain.

“I think this course is brilliant.”

Mrs Wall has similar reasons for wanting to take part.

Her 24-year-old son Adam was killed on the A47 near Wisbech four years ago when he was riding his motorcycle to his Downham Market home and was struck by a van.

She said: “If it (the course) saves a life or gets the message across then it is worthwhile.

“It is hard. You are trying not to cry as you remember everything and you are replaying the day Adam died but you want them (the youngsters) to know it is real, my son has lost his life and he hasn't done anything wrong. He hadn't been drinking, on drugs, or breaking the law, someone else broke the law and took his life.

“If one life is saved from this, their parents won't get the life sentence we are going through.”

And Mr Grant from the youth offending service is confident there will be a change in some of the youngsters.

He said: “I think the talk from RoadPeace got to them. They didn't know what to say because someone had lost a child through dangerous driving and I think they took what they said on board.

“It drew discussion within the car on the way home and we talked about the pictures and about what could happen.

“They said how in the past they had crashed cars and how they could have killed or seriously hurt.

“One of the 17-year-olds said he is going to do his test, get a licence and drive legally and that proved to me that they are thinking about what they have seen.”



343 people were killed or seriously injured in road traffic collisions in Suffolk in 2005.

Men are more likely to crash than women.

Women are more likely to pass their theory test than men with 81 per cent of women passing, compared to 75 pc of men.

Over the last few years traffic convictions for women have risen by 50 pc.

More than 1,000 people under the age of 24 die in road traffic collisions every year.

Men in their 20s are five times more likely to die in road traffic collisions than women in their 20s.

The most common cause of road traffic collisions is excess speed. Speed is a contributory factor in 1,000 deaths and 38,000 injuries each year.

One in six people do not bother to wear seat belts for short journeys.

The most common reason for people not to wear a seatbelt (according to what they tell police) is that they forgot.

Since 1983 seatbelts have reduced casualties and deaths by more than 600,000.

You cannot tell how much you can legally drink before you drive, it depends on sex, age, metabolism, stress levels, whether you have an empty stomach and the type of alcohol you drink.

If you are caught drink driving you will lose your licence for at least 12 months, face a possible fine of up to £5,000 and could be jailed for up to six months.

The same penalties are in place for driving under the influence of drugs, whether they are prescription drugs which affect driving ability or illegal drugs.

Penalty points for drink driving can stay on your driving licence for 11 years, other penalty points can stay on your licence for four years.


Roadopeace ~ information  

RoadPeace, the UK's national charity dedicated to supporting bereaved and injured road crash victims, was set up in February 1992 to meet the overwhelming need for a national organisation to represent and support this huge group of victims and draw attention to their almost non-existent rights.

At the same time, RoadPeace launched the first and only national helpline for road victims - 0845 4500 355 - a Lifeline offering vital information, advice and support on 7 days 12 hours each day, backed up by publications written from the victims' perspective and practical experience of thousands of cases - on investigations, prosecutions and civil claims. Long-term support and friendship are offered through mailings, local groups, annual events and many joint acts of remembrance.

RoadPeace champions the rights of road crash victims to ensure the trauma they suffer is acknowledged. To this end, RoadPeace researches and documents the experiences of road crash victims, using the findings to inform and influence policy makers, agencies, the media and the public.

RoadPeace also works for real road safety - to reduce the causes of road crashes and make sure that lessons are learnt to prevent similar deaths and injuries from occurring. RoadPeace works with many transport campaigning and social justice groups and is a founder member of the Safer Streets Coalition, the Slower Speeds Initiative and Children and Traffic Coalition. Many concerned members of the public support RoadPeace's work and have joined as members.

An important part of RoadPeace's work is at international level, cooperating under the umbrella of the European Federation of Road Traffic Victims (FEVR) with road victim organisations in Europe and beyond, the United Nations and World Health Organisation and many other international institutions and bodies.

"Our aim is to end discrimination of road crash victims and leniency towards road law breaking - to ensure that road victims will receive decent treatment and services and that society will suffer far fewer unnecessary road deaths and injuries in future."

Brigitte Chaudhry MBE, RoadPeace Founder & President, FEVR President


Sibels name continues to live on.....  

* Remembering road traffic victims in Names Poster

Hundreds of names of loved ones killed in road crashes were sent for the Manchester exhibition, and we produced a pdf poster to mark World Remembrance Day 2005.

Sibels name was included on this list.  Please see the link below, Sibel's name is 3/4 down the list, along the left.

http://www.roadpeace.org/news/names.pdf


Poem  


Miss Me, But Let Me Go  


When I come to the end of the road,
and the sun has set for me.
I want no rites in a gloom-filled room.
Why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little—but not too long,
and not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that was once shared.
Miss me, but let me go.

For this is a journey we all must take, and each must go alone.
It’s all a part of the master’s plan, a step on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick of heart, go to the friends we know.
Bear your sorrow in good deeds.
Miss me, but let me go.


The Bereaved Parents Wish List...  

I wish you wouldn't be afraid to speak my child's name. My child
lived and was very important to me. I need to hear that she was
important to you also.
Y
If I cry and get emotional when you talk about my child, I wish you
knew that it isn't because you have hurt me. My child's death is the
cause of my tears. You have talked about my child and you have
allowed me to share my grief. I thank you for both.
Y
Being a bereaved parent is not contagious, so I wish you wouldn't
shy away from me. I need you now more than ever.
Y
I need diversions, so I do want to hear about you, but I also want
you to hear about me. I might be sad and I might cry, but I wish you
would let me talk about my child; my favorite topic of the day
Y
I know that you think of and pray for me often. I also know that my
child's death pains you too. I wish you would let me know these
things through a phone call, a card or note, or a real big hug.
Y
I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be over. These first years
are traumatic for me, but I wish you could understand that my grief
will never be over. I will suffer the death of my child until the day
I die.
Y
I am working hard in my recovery, but I wish you could understand
that I will never fully recover. I will always miss my child and I
will always grieve that she/he is dead.
Y
I wish you wouldn't expect me "not to think about it" or "be
happy". Neither will happen for a very long time, so don't frustrate
yourself.
Y
I don't want to have a "Pity party", but I do wish you would let me
grieve. I must hurt before I can heal.
Y
I wish you understood how my life has shattered. I know it is
miserable for you to be around me when I'm feeling miserable. Please
be as patient with me as I am with you.
Y
When I say, "I'm doing okay", I wish you could understand that I
don't "feel" okay and that I struggle daily.
Y
I wish you knew that all of the grief reactions I'm having are very
normal. Depression, anger, hopelessness and overwhelming sadness are
all to be expected. So please excuse me when I'm quiet and withdrawn
or irritable and cranky.
Y
Your advice to "take it one day at a time" is excellent advice.
However, a day is too much and too fast for me right now. I wish you
could understand that I'm doing good to handle an hour at a time.
Y
Please excuse me if I seem rude, certainly not my intent. Sometimes
the world around me goes too fast and I need to get off. When I walk
away, I wish you would let me find a quiet place to spend time alone.
I wish you understood that grief changes people. When my child died,
a big part of me died with her/him. I am not the same person I was
before my child died and I will never be that person again.
Y
I wish very much that you could understand ~ understand my loss and
my grief. But, I pray daily that you will never understand.


The Cord  


We are connected, my child and I,
  by an invisible cord not seen by the eye.
It’s not like the cord that connects us at birth,
this cord can’t be seen by any on earth.
This cord does its work right from the start,
it binds us together, attached by the heart
I know that it’s there, though no one can see
 this invisible cord, from my child to me.
            
The strength of this cord, it’s hard to describe,                  
 it can’t be destroyed, it can’t be denied.    
It’s stronger than any cord man could create;
it withstands the test, can hold any weight.
And though you are gone and you’re not here with me,
the cord is still there though no one can see.
It pulls at my heart, I am bruised, I am sore,
but this cord is my lifeline as never before.
I’m thankful that God connects us this way,
a mother and child…Death can’t take it away.

Author Unknown


Angels  






Maybe.....  

Inspired by a piece by Anke, thank you so very much xxx  

 
Maybe you were just travelling through 
You were not destined to be with us for long 
You didn't need to stay a hundred years 
to get everything done; you did it in four

You came to deliver the warmth of your smile 
Your lessons in love, friendship and trust 
You were already a teacher to us all 
To your family and others so loved. 
 
Maybe you lived your life faster than the rest 
You certainly knew how to make the best 
Of all your opportunities and time 
You wasted nothing; each moment precious. 
 
You delivered your gifts and now you are free 
To travel on; an extraordinary being 
Who leaves knowledge for we who remain 
Your presence to treasure, again and again.


An unfinished life / Mummy  

An unfinished life  

In the stillness of the night
I sit in the garden
look at the stars
I wonder where you are.
The house seems so empty
devoid of all life and soul
since youve been gone
Theres an ache in my heart
and despair in my soul
I miss you my princess
more than words can ever say
Every morning
when I open my eyes
every night
when I close my eyes
You are in my thoughts...
throughout the rest of the day
This is so hard to live with
At times I want to give up
Every day is a struggle
To live without you 
Your life ended
before it began
I would give my life for yours
any time, without a thought
I cry silent tears for you
For us
I send silent prayers to God
to take care of you
and love you
as much as I did
Until we are reunited
God has given us strength
Throughout the dark days
He didnt let you suffer..but
I find it hard to forgive Him
For taking you away
An unfinished life
Is what He has left behind
A lifetime of sorrow
in our hearts


You will never be forgotten...you will always be deeply cherished and loved. I love you more than life itself Sibs.  Its so hard to live without you.  Love Mummyxxxxxxxxx

As I sat in the garden one night I felt inspired to write this poem, I feel it captures how I feel so well ~ Funda Royer


Sibels legacy  


Mothers Love  

Thank you my darling little princess for coming into my life, for opening my eyes to what matters in life,  for opening my heart to sorrow, for this sorrow came from loving you so deeply, and for bringing me a step closer to Cennet (Heaven).   I pray that God never allows one tear to roll down your cheeks, for your beautiful little smile to always stay on your lips and for your laughter to ring out from the skies of Heaven for eternity


                    


Life lost  


I have lost a life - not my own.
But it would have been easier
to have lost my own life
than to have lost
the life I loved more than my own 


Faith  

Life will never be the same.
I try to lean on God, knowing he will comfort me if I allow him to.
After all he is the GOD of Comfort.
Faith is believing without always having the answers to all my questions.
It is trusting in the good times as well as the bad times
.


What Is Grief?  


What is grief?...
Who really knows?...
How to do it and how it goes
Grief I'm told is letting go
So what is right? So what is wrong?
The words and the feelings to our own grief song


Memories flood the tears in our eyes
Do you think that God hears our cries
And how our hearts will ache till the end
Even knowing that his peace he'll send
To feel so lonely and filled with fear
I wonder if the Lord does truly hear

So our days go by hour by hour
As we smile, carry on, with all our power
We stay busy, sometimes too busy to see
To notice in God, that we truly need thee
Our nights are filled with restless sleep
Even knowing that you're safe in God's keep

We wake from our slumber in the early morning light
To weep for our Daughter, now out of our sight
We toss and turn and try hard to pray
Please Lord, help us through yet another day

On the days where once silence was cherished
This too now has gone and somehow perished
Alone we fight the pain, the loss and sorrow
While waiting for a brighter tomorrow

We try to understand why the words feel so cold
We try to forgive, we try to be bold
We smile that smile, we walk that walk
We still love unconditionally through the pain of their talk
For our pain and our sorrow runs so very deep
So deep that no one can see us weep

So grief they say, as they point their finger
Get over it, it's done, don't let it linger
But "we" know it doesn't matter how many days go by


Our hearts will always and forever know how to cry

So tell me what is grief and who really knows
How to do it and how it goes


 


Remembering you every day  


We do not need a special day
To bring you to our minds.
The days we do not think of you
Are very hard to find.

Each morning when we awake,
We know that you are gone.
And no one knows the heartache
As we try to carry on.

Our hearts still ache with sadness
And secret tears still flow.
What it meant to lose you
No one will ever know.

Our thoughts are always with you,
Your place no one can fill.
In life we loved you dearly;
In death we love you still.

There will always be a heartache,
And often a silent tear.
But always a precious memory
Of the days when you were here.

If tears could make a staircase,
And heartaches make a lane,
We'd walk the path to heaven
And bring you home again.

We hold you close within our hearts;
And there you will remain,
To walk with us throughout our lives
Until we meet again.

Our family chain is broken now,
And nothing seems the same,
But as GOD calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.


Some people  


Some people have everything
Yet lose nothing
Other people have nothing
and Yet lose everything


Honouring Sibel  

I  often feel cursed

that God has taken my baby away from me

What did I do that was so terrible

to have to live

with the most devastating and heartbreaking pain

But a very special friend said to me....

What did Sibel do that was so right

That she should be chosen

After only 4 years of life on this Earth -

A place of world suffering and evil

To go and live in Heaven

The home of God and his Angels

A place of love and peace

A place of eternal life

I will try

Today, tomorrow and forever to live to always honouring Sibels Memory

To live and love as Sibel did

To try to be as good spirited as my child was

In honour of her memory

I will try 


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