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 Until we meet again my little princess
~ hold me in your heart where you live in
mine. Love is stronger than any barrier -
even death xxx
This memorial website was created in the memory of our beautiful Daughter, Sibel Royer who was born in United Kingdom on April 25, 2000 and got her wings to heaven on July 9th 2004, at the age of 4. We miss her more and more each day and the pain is one that will never end.
HAPPINESS DENIED
I worried for you so much
As mothers often do
No worries now, just heartache
Because I’m missing you
I’m tired and so very lonely
I’m numb with grief and pain
Will I ever feel well again?
Will I ever feel sane?
The “madness” comes in waves you see
Despair is hard to bear
I lost my dearest, precious child
And no one seems to care
I’m sure they do but life goes on
It’s just another sorrow
For someone else, but not for them
They’ll be OK tomorrow!
For me tomorrow will not come
It will always be “today”
The day I heard that you had died
The day you went away
I live the moment every day
And many tears I’ve cried
For I knew then true happiness
Forever would be denied
author unknown
(Thank you to my dear friend Shirley Ling, Mother of beautiful Angel Gemma for sharing with me this poem)
13 days after this photo was taken Sibel lost her life...
The Book of Life
Wrote down Sibels birth
And whispered as She closed The Book
" Too wonderful for Earth"
 Sibel for coming into my life and choosing us as your family. You may be gone
from my eyes but never my heart...until the day I close my eyes forever you will be with me, and even then I will still be searching for you. I love you so much Sibs... my tears will forever fall endlessly for you. 3 years have gone by but my pain inside is just as raw and deep as the day you left this world. You are truly ingrained in my soul and heart x
WHISPERS FROM HEAVEN
They say that life is fleeting
I know that this is true
I left this world so quickly
With no goodbye to you.
I know how much you miss me
Your tears fall ever light
The pillow where you lay your head
Is wet with them at night.
I know your heart is hurting
the words we left, unsaid
I love you's, left unspoken
Are spinning in your head.
The strength that I have carried
That served to make you whole
Remain to make you stronger
Within your grieving soul.
For you see, while you were weeping
On the day I passed away
At the gravesite near the flowers
Where my loved ones knelt to pray.
An angel came to see me
She took me by the hand
She led me to a kingdom
In a very distant land.
As I look down from heaven
And see you standing there
Your heart so ever burdened
With more grief than it can bear.
I long to bring you comfort
I long to give you peace
I long to hold you closely
Cause all your tears to cease.
The joy I've found in heaven
Goes far beyond compare
The love that's so elusive
Can be found here everywhere.
The light is softly shining
There's no storm clouds here or rain
There's no teardrops found in heaven
There's no suffering, there's no pain.
You needn't be so troubled
Stay close to God and pray
That someday we'll be together
One bright and glorious day.
"It's hard to explain really.
I want you back but how can I
get you back?
I dont know the way to heaven.
I love you more than any thing in the world"
Melis Royer - Sister
Sleep tight in heaven my darling angel... you have earned your wings
I hope that the tears that we shed each day for Sibel, the pain in our hearts that seems to get worse as time goes on, when sorrow and sadness seem to overwhelm us, that these will be placed in a bag of burden and hang over Anjum Khan's life, as the grief will hang over ours for the rest of our life.
Sibel aka Sibs as we often called her, was the baby of our family - a role that she loved. she loved playing the baby of the family and we all spoilt her in our own ways.
Sibel loved being hugged and kissed. When she hugged you, she would squeeze you so tight like she never wanted to let go.
She was an incredibly affectionate child with those she knew, her Daddy described her as "overflowing with love". Virtually every morning Sibel would come into our bed, for a cuddle and a kiss. Some nights she would somehow come into our room and spend the night snuggled up to one of us.
Sibel was extremely girly. We always used to say that Sibel would be a Beauty therapist of some sort. After her bath every night, she would spend 10 minutes creaming every part of her body! So she always had beautiful and soft skin.
Afterwards she would come downstairs to eat some fruit with Melis, and virtually every Friday or Saturday night when they were allowed to stay up later, she would start getting her creams out and give me and Melis a "massage".
Her simple nature meant that often you would even forget she was in the house with you, so long as she had cartoons on...doing some colouring or most of the time she would be in the garden with her baby Annabel doll and her bike. She had her snacks of a milkshake and sandwich (tuna!) she was very happy.
We had got Sibel her first "big girls" Barbie bike about a month before she left this world, and her face lit up when she came home from Aunty Jens that weekend and saw it in the living room all set up with a seat for her beloved Baby Annabel at the back.
Quite often Sibel would dissapear upstairs and come back down completely dressed up with a princess outfit on. She loved her dressing up box that we bought the girls for Christmas 2003. She found the princess make up box one day with lipsticks and eye shadows and came downstairs smothered in make up!
Sibel had a very sweet nature but an incredibly stubborn streak. She refused to war tracksuit bottoms to nursery on PE days, as she felt this made her look like a boy, and hence every single morning she would cry and cry asking me whether today was Thursday and will she have PE?!
Sibel’s faveourite activity at home and at nursery was the "home corner", she would happily play with her dolls and beloved play kitchen for hours, even cleaning it with a cloth every week.
She had a doll that was taller than her and she would sit there for ages brushing its hair, and putting in at least 30 hairclips, conditioner & oil until the poor doll had dripping hair with so much grease on it. Then she would want to start on my hair!
The said Doll now sits in the toy cupboard with all the clips still in. The pain I feel seeing those clips now, knowing that Sibel’s hands have touched those very clips, brings a lump to my throat and tears to my eyes.
Sibel was a complete contrast to Melis. Melis has very dark hair, Sibel's was very light brown, almost like it had blonde highlights! Sibel was very fair in skin tone, almost white, Melis has beautiful chocolate color skin.
Their characters were so different too. Melis is very much a Drama Princess, who loves to sing, perform little shows and be an extrovert.
Whereas Sibel was very shy and reserved in front of people she did not know very well...I lost count of how many times she would hide behind me or ask to be picked up and hide her face in my neck.
The love and respect that both sisters had for one another was there for everyone to see. They adored one another, and where one went the other followed. I am immensely proud of my Girls and the life we led, before Death walked into our lives and left behind sorrow & devastation.
Quite often I would look at Sibel and feel this burn in my heart, such was my love for her. I have never felt this love before. I love both my girls, but Sibels simpIe nature and cuteness touched my the core of my soul. Perhaps it was because she was my "baby", my youngest child.....
With Sibel I would think to myself, I love this child so much that it actually hurts. I remember thinking, when this pain came into my heart, that I could not imagine living without her in my life. God had different plans for me, I now know.
Our little Princess, as we all called her, will live on in our hearts forever and the memories that she has left behind will be treasured by us all for the rest of our lives. Words can never ever describe how much we love and miss her. Our hearts are forever broken, our world forever darker without Sibel in it.
Her whole life has been stolen by the selfish actions of one person, who played God with peoples lives that day.
ANJUM KHAN was convicted of causing Sibels death by dangerous driving on 13th June 2005 at Snaresbrook crown court after he pleaded guilty.
The families left behind are given the real life sentence and we are the victims!
Anjum Khan chose to break the law in speeding - believing that no one would care and no one would be affected by his actions.
In taking that decision he tore our family apart and we have lost the most precious person in the world.
4 people lost their lives that day, Sibel, her Mum & Dad & Sister. We have never been the same happy care free people again.
The disgraceful sentence of 18 months in prison & release after 9 months!! in March 2006...the pathetic 3 year driving ban did nothing to ease our grief and pain.
However we are "grateful" to God, that the person responsible for killing our Daughter was charged with her death. So many other families are not so fortunate.
Sadly, the laws laid down by the Governement in this country are so appalling that those who kill on the roads are often given a few penalty points and a small fine.
We know that when we close our eyes to this world, and open our eyes to the next, our beautiful Sibel will be standing beside us, her little hand in ours...that special smile of hers...will be the only time that we will find that inner peace that we seek.
Thank you for sharing Sibels story with us...and to all those visiting this site, please don't leave without lighting a candle in her memory.
For those who knew Sibel, no matter how small or how long, please spare a few minutes of your time and share your memories of Sibel as these are so precious to us now............
Funda, Ben and Melis & Jayda xxxx
Wherever a beautiful soul has walked there are a trail of beautiful memorie
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Click here to see Sibel Royer's Family Tree |
 Tributes and Condolences |
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Oct 2009 / Mummy
Sibelim
canim benim...bebegim....seni oyle seviyorum ki....bir gun gecmedi sen her zaman dusuncelerimin icindesin.
Canimin icisin. Bazan aglamak bile zor geliyor..... insanin kalbi oyle bir kirik oldugunda bin parca oldum..... inanmak g...
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Oct 09 / Mummy
Sibs
reliving the days after your passing....I am very upset tonight for some reason.....I am missing you very much .
I wish I could open my eyes and see you here.
I wish many things but sadly what I want in this life is gone forever.
Mummy x |
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Thinking of you so very much / Mummy
Sibel
There is a pain in me so much when I think of you.....I have allowed myself to be busy to keep moving and thinking forwards to feel blessed with Jayda in our lives and in doing so have allowed the ensuing grief of your loss to be immersed in t...
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Sunday 16th August / Mummy
Hi Sibs
You have been in my thoughts so much lately and I am coming to visit your garden later today. Its been a long time. Sorry. But you know that coming there upsets me and I find that hard to deal with.
I never ever stop missin...
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ITS NOT EASY / DADDY BEN (DAD)
ITS NOT EASY LIVING WITH THIS GRIEF OF LOOSING YOU SIBS,EVERYDAY IS HARD ,NONE OF IT ANY SENSE ,AND THE PAIN REMAINS ALWAYS XX
PS. SO SORRY I DIDNT GET TO MEET YOU XXXXXX &...
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What a beautiful child / Betty Bellamy Read >> |
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Angel day!!! / Melis Aba (SISTER) Read >> |
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June 2009 / Mummy Read >> |
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June 2009 / Mummy Read >> |
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Your 9th birthday / Mummy Read >> |
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The love of a sister / Melis Aba (sister) Read >> |
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MARCH 2009 / MUMMY Read >> |
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WILL NEVER STOP SPEAKING UP FOR YOU SIBS XXX / MUMMY Read >> |
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POEM FOR MUM / MUMMY Read >> |
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JANUARY 2009 / MUMMY Read >> |
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| Her legacy |
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ROADKILL - article by local Ipswich paper "Evening Star"
Dying to drive
06 November 2006 | 15:53
A 'victim' is cut out of a car during the RoadKill demonstration
SHOCK tactics are being employed in Suffolk in a bid to prevent deaths and serious injuries on the road.
Teenagers are being shown graphic pictures of people killed on the county's roads to make them think twice about breaking the law. Crime reporter KATE GOODING went along to see if it works.
TOMMY Sawyer addresses the group of teenagers with an angry tone.
“I am ****** off,” he announces.
“We keep going to car accidents and cutting people out your age.
“Over Christmas last year we had eight fatalities in five weeks. “Do you think I go home at night and it doesn't worry me if I have cut someone out of a car or do you think I can tell you about every death I have been to?”
Last year in Suffolk 343 people were killed or seriously injured on Suffolk's roads - many of them were young people who failed to wear seatbelts, drove at excess speed or drove without due care and attention.
One in three crashes involve men under the age of 20, and 17-year-old men are seven times more likely to have a crash than other groups.
A new and brutal one-day course called RoadKill aims to turn 'bad lads' good, and prevent the number of deaths on the county's roads. Hosted by Suffolk Fire and Rescue Service, it shows teenagers the stark reality of road traffic collisions - in graphic and appalling detail. Shock tactics coupled with education try to change the attitudes of youngsters.
RoadKill focuses on youngsters who have committed motoring offences or are at a high risk of committing such offences. The teenagers begin the day with mixed attitudes - most agree that drink driving is wrong but many admit they don't wear seatbelts and believe that their driving ability is equal to or better than someone who has passed their test.
The firefighters work with Suffolk police, Suffolk Accident and Rescue Service (SARS), Ipswich Borough Council, Suffolk County Council, Suffolk Youth Offending Service and road crash charity RoadPeace, to change minds in their efforts to save lives.
Over six hours, the teenagers learn the law, and the facts about road crashes. This is combined with a focus on the human tragedy and suffering caused by such collisions.
The idea for the course began in Surrey, after a firefighter there called Rob Green, was involved in a collision with joyriders, which resulted in him losing both of his legs below the knee and suffering burns to his face and body.
His wife, who was a pillion rider, was killed.
His colleague Trevor Hill brought the course with him when he transferred to Suffolk, and it has been welcomed by other agencies across the county as well as his colleagues.
Most of the work by fire crews in the county is now at the scene of road crashes, and according to sub officer Marty Royal, crews seldom go a tour (two day shifts and two nights) without attending a road crash.
Over the last few years they have seen rising numbers of collisions in the county, and faced the harrowing task of cutting casualties and sometimes bodies from wreckage. The course includes a demonstration of this work, with two of the youths cut from the vehicle to show how frightening an experience it can be.
The work does not end there though, fire crews work at the scene with police and medics and each bring their own expertise and personal experiences to the RoadKill course.
They include former Suffolk Accident Rescue Service doctor Andy Mason, a specialist in trauma whose contribution to RoadKill is to show the youngsters a catalogue of graphic images of injuries sustained in collisions in Suffolk.
These include photographs of bodies embedded in wreckage, and on the operating table - enough to spark tears in some adult onlookers.
Dr Mason agrees they are disturbing, but says to the group: “Hopefully you will now make some better decisions than may be you have done before.”
He explains the cause of many of the injuries comes down to driving at excess speed, not wearing a seat belt, not having an airbag - and delivers his presentation without emotion as the 14 to 17-year-olds look on.
It may seem like a drastic approach, but Dr Mason explains there were 113 deaths of teenage drivers nationwide in 2000 and 151 in 2004.
Paul Grant of Suffolk youth offending service said the shock tactics do have an effect on the youngsters.
He said: “This group found it really interesting and it made them think about putting their seatbelts on and they said the programme works to make them slow down.
“There was shock but it makes them think when they are behind the wheel of a car that they could get seriously hurt. Before, when they were in a car, they thought they were immortal and couldn't get hurt but I think this shocks them with reality.
“In the morning they were saying 'I'm not going to wear a seatbelt' and this and that and after the afternoon, with the doctor's pictures, it put it into context and brought home what could really happen.
“The pictures are all of real people and cars that have been taken to pieces.
“If it stops one from going out and nicking cars and killing someone we have done a service.”
Mr Grant said one of the most effective sessions of the day came from RoadPeace, a charity dedicated to supporting road traffic victims and reducing danger on the roads.
Suffolk Fire and Rescue Service dedicate the course to Sibel Royer who was born on April 25, 2000 and died on July 9, 2004, and Adam Wall, who was born on June 22, 1978 and died on November 4, 2002.
Anglia Special Edition on ITV1 at 7.30pm tomorrow reports on the number of young people who die on our region's roads, and asks what can be done to reduce the figure.
Funda Royer and Bridget Wall spoke to the youngsters, about the impact losing their children in road crashes had had on their lives.
The speeches were not easy for either of the women but both feel they need to do something positive in memory of their loved ones.
Mrs Royer's four-year-old daughter Sibel was killed by a speeding driver in Barkingside, Essex two years ago.
She said: “The way that I deal with it (Sibel's death) on a daily basis, in order to be able to cope, I store it at the back of my mind and even now, sometimes I can't bear to go there.
“It is still so raw so it is really difficult to do this but afterwards I feel a sense of achievement.
“We can't make sense of what's happened but every time you talk about them and their life, you are keeping their memory alive. You are always living with this senseless loss.
“Speaking to people like this, who could potentially be responsible for a child's death, you are helping to prevent someone else from suffering.
“I can't allow Sibel's death to be in vain and I don't want her name to be forgotten or her memory to be forgotten. I feel her life was taken too soon but if I can help stop another child being taken from a family her death hasn't been in vain.
“I think this course is brilliant.”
Mrs Wall has similar reasons for wanting to take part.
Her 24-year-old son Adam was killed on the A47 near Wisbech four years ago when he was riding his motorcycle to his Downham Market home and was struck by a van.
She said: “If it (the course) saves a life or gets the message across then it is worthwhile.
“It is hard. You are trying not to cry as you remember everything and you are replaying the day Adam died but you want them (the youngsters) to know it is real, my son has lost his life and he hasn't done anything wrong. He hadn't been drinking, on drugs, or breaking the law, someone else broke the law and took his life.
“If one life is saved from this, their parents won't get the life sentence we are going through.”
And Mr Grant from the youth offending service is confident there will be a change in some of the youngsters.
He said: “I think the talk from RoadPeace got to them. They didn't know what to say because someone had lost a child through dangerous driving and I think they took what they said on board.
“It drew discussion within the car on the way home and we talked about the pictures and about what could happen.
“They said how in the past they had crashed cars and how they could have killed or seriously hurt.
“One of the 17-year-olds said he is going to do his test, get a licence and drive legally and that proved to me that they are thinking about what they have seen.”
343 people were killed or seriously injured in road traffic collisions in Suffolk in 2005.
Men are more likely to crash than women.
Women are more likely to pass their theory test than men with 81 per cent of women passing, compared to 75 pc of men.
Over the last few years traffic convictions for women have risen by 50 pc.
More than 1,000 people under the age of 24 die in road traffic collisions every year.
Men in their 20s are five times more likely to die in road traffic collisions than women in their 20s.
The most common cause of road traffic collisions is excess speed. Speed is a contributory factor in 1,000 deaths and 38,000 injuries each year.
One in six people do not bother to wear seat belts for short journeys.
The most common reason for people not to wear a seatbelt (according to what they tell police) is that they forgot.
Since 1983 seatbelts have reduced casualties and deaths by more than 600,000.
You cannot tell how much you can legally drink before you drive, it depends on sex, age, metabolism, stress levels, whether you have an empty stomach and the type of alcohol you drink.
If you are caught drink driving you will lose your licence for at least 12 months, face a possible fine of up to £5,000 and could be jailed for up to six months.
The same penalties are in place for driving under the influence of drugs, whether they are prescription drugs which affect driving ability or illegal drugs.
Penalty points for drink driving can stay on your driving licence for 11 years, other penalty points can stay on your licence for four years.
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Roadopeace ~ information
RoadPeace, the UK's national charity dedicated to supporting bereaved and injured road crash victims, was set up in February 1992 to meet the overwhelming need for a national organisation to represent and support this huge group of victims and draw attention to their almost non-existent rights.
At the same time, RoadPeace launched the first and only national helpline for road victims - 0845 4500 355 - a Lifeline offering vital information, advice and support on 7 days 12 hours each day, backed up by publications written from the victims' perspective and practical experience of thousands of cases - on investigations, prosecutions and civil claims. Long-term support and friendship are offered through mailings, local groups, annual events and many joint acts of remembrance.
RoadPeace champions the rights of road crash victims to ensure the trauma they suffer is acknowledged. To this end, RoadPeace researches and documents the experiences of road crash victims, using the findings to inform and influence policy makers, agencies, the media and the public.
RoadPeace also works for real road safety - to reduce the causes of road crashes and make sure that lessons are learnt to prevent similar deaths and injuries from occurring. RoadPeace works with many transport campaigning and social justice groups and is a founder member of the Safer Streets Coalition, the Slower Speeds Initiative and Children and Traffic Coalition. Many concerned members of the public support RoadPeace's work and have joined as members.
An important part of RoadPeace's work is at international level, cooperating under the umbrella of the European Federation of Road Traffic Victims (FEVR) with road victim organisations in Europe and beyond, the United Nations and World Health Organisation and many other international institutions and bodies.
"Our aim is to end discrimination of road crash victims and leniency towards road law breaking - to ensure that road victims will receive decent treatment and services and that society will suffer far fewer unnecessary road deaths and injuries in future."
Brigitte Chaudhry MBE, RoadPeace Founder & President, FEVR President |
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Sibels name continues to live on.....
* Remembering road traffic victims in Names Poster
Hundreds of names of loved ones killed in road crashes were sent for the Manchester exhibition, and we produced a pdf poster to mark World Remembrance Day 2005.
Sibels name was included on this list. Please see the link below, Sibel's name is 3/4 down the list, along the left.
http://www.roadpeace.org/news/names.pdf |
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Poem
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Miss Me, But Let Me Go
When I come to the end of the road,
and the sun has set for me.
I want no rites in a gloom-filled room.
Why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little—but not too long,
and not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that was once shared.
Miss me, but let me go.
For this is a journey we all must take, and each must go alone.
It’s all a part of the master’s plan, a step on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick of heart, go to the friends we know.
Bear your sorrow in good deeds.
Miss me, but let me go. |
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| Sibel's Photo Album |
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